Well, I had my days when I was young when I used to consume a lot of poetry and composed some myself. I remember carrying a little home-made notebook the size of a quarter A4 which I cut with a Stanley knife which I borrowed from my dad. I bound it myself using an ordinary rubbery red glue, it was stiff enough but still bendable enough and it served the purpose. I designed the cover too which was cut from a black-and-white-sided arts and crafts cardboard. I also made a case for it so it would just slide in and out and with just enough room to house a pencil beside it. I wrote loads of poems about being young and being in love. Damn, those were the romantic days. It was, I guess, a means to express myself during those years when my teenage hormones were blasting to the roof. It was a beautiful distraction and within the pages of it were raw feelings written in both English and Filipino (Tagalog). I took that poetry book of mine everywhere I went, in every adventure including my first trip overseas. I lost it twice in my parent's house and the first time I lost it, a sister-in-law found it and she kept it safe for me whilst I was away living in a foreign land. And when I got it back, it was a brilliant relief. Of course, my sister-in-law took the liberty of reading what were written on those pages and I recall the time when she told me that I should write more. I, on the other hand, felt so embarrassed. The second time I lost it, that was it, I don't think it was misplaced anymore. I think it was more likely been mistakenly thrown out of the room I used to occupy in my parent's house.
Those were the romantic days when passion filled my heart and my admiration for beauty was at its peak. And as I grew older, I think I have stopped or have forgotten how to be fully me. It is so easy to focus on all the stuff that we need to do on a day to day basis and in this process it had moulded me into a run-of-the-mill person - something I dreaded I would be. I have, in the past six years, started a journey to reclaim a part of myself but only in the last couple of years have I decided that no matter what and no matter where, regardless of judgement, I will do my best to show my inner being. "Look away, look away mediocrity is infectious" and so I have heard. I always remind myself that line. In this world of being 'cool' is the norm, everyone wants to be cool and to out-cool each other is part of the never ending game. It is for me nothing more but an act and an act to the point wherein the coolness factor has totally lost its charm for me. It is now nothing more but a practice in mediocrity or a cry for attention and of neediness. My definition of 'coolness' is to be in one's genuine self and it is very organic. It is not forced but appreciated and cultivated, shared without wanting. I cannot explain them all, I won't even try but the only thing I want to do is to be a romantic again and balance it with life as we know it. To adore everything and to express feelings through simplicity when needed. To live, to love and to cherish all that is possible and unique. To declare beauty even when others disagree to it, especially when others are ever so blind to it.
To all romantics out there, here once again is a humble toast and my very own way of stepping out again into the warm sunlight...
be a romantic
be a romantic with a child-like whim, warmth and charm
be a romantic even when people don't get you or when you get laughed at
mostly be a romantic when it hurts and especially when it cuts deep in the core because no one will fight for it but you and only you
it could be the only fight of your life
and be vastly true
be a romantic because the truth is in this world and in this lifetime there is just not enough romance and love and beauty and people like you
be a romantic without a hint of expectation
be a romantic
be the fiercely loving you
Below is a very beautiful poem and I am so glad and grateful that it was specially read to me by someone who appreciates life and poetry. Definitely, this is one of my most favourite poems of all time.
[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]
BY E. E. CUMMINGS
And finally these beautiful words were put into a very beautiful song.
And lastly for life's sake love.
Love like the hundreds of generations before you who have and had loved so meaningfully and strongly that they've conquered fear.